Pick a Column


               One                                         Two

Today,                                         Today, 
Wayne Gretzsky gave you his                    A child rapist, and wife beater, 
first hockey stick from when he was            who murdered your firstborn, a   
a child, with his signature on the             year after he sued you and won
face; Bill Gates gave all his earnings         rights to all your estate,
away to end world hunger; a ten year old       realizes how much Jesus loves
kid found an error in Einstein's theory        him, asks Him to forgive him,
of relativity; a woman married today and       then tells the rest of the
broke the world's record for most husbands;    world, and you, specifically,
blood tests on a dying man have resulted in    that he's sorry, and asks the
finding a cure for AIDS; you become the        world to forgive him.
first woman president of the United States;
a scientist discovers how to travel great
distances in space, far faster than the
speed of light.. without using fuel;
Howard Berg turned his life over and is now
teaching all people he can, for free, how
to remember everything they read, and read
at over 5,000 words per minute; Belfast
peace talks succeeded as both sides agree
to stop hurting one another from now on;
all the members of the KKK are indicted and
sentenced to life in prison, with their
skin irrevocably tinted dark brown; a
meterologist discovers how to totally
control the weather.